[More like it feels real to the host and tulpa. Though in tulpafication switching it would be the host becoming a thoughtform like being dissociated from the body and the tulpa becomes associated with the body. Well something like that.]
1:57 PM
[Of course if you define host as the main controller of the body and not the first thoughtform maybe the tulpa becomes the host? And if you define host as the body itself what we refer to as "host" would have been another thoughtform all along.](edited)
I was about to say something similar to that, my first instinct on how switching might work would involve the "host identity" or the sort of "default assumed thinking being" to stop being what was the host and start being the tulpa, rather than, say, "the host takes the controls".
My thoughts on switching are as follows:
By first thought, you don't know how to move your limbs. You've been doing it so long that it is more than natural. But when you put actual thought into moving your body it can start to feel strange, right? That sensation of strangeness of focusing on each isolated movement of your body is what it's like to switch.
Or at least that's what I've gathered.
We move our limbs unconsciously. When we pick up a hamburger, we don't think about contracting and extending muscles to move our limbs to grab the burg. We just do it.
2:36 PM
If you focus on it, your limbs can feel alien to you.
2:36 PM
And yeah, that's a pretty decent comparison to at the very least some forms of switching.
2:37 PM
It really comes down to how alien one must feel before one decides to label themselves switched out.
The issue I see with that would be that switching is a lot more substantial than feeling strange. I like the concept as an explanation, in part, for posession, though
Tulap update 2: I forgot to force while camping because a lot of unforeseen things went down, but I did manage to talk with remedios while at work for a brief period of time. I'm going to spend time with her today in-between ranked matches on Street fighter. The wait between matches is usually a few minutes long, so it provides a nice bit of time with breaks interspersed. Remedios seems a little peeved but she's still talking with me, so that's good.
@Reguile Yeah. I don't really have doubts about the "realness" of my tulpas at this point, but my life broke down for a good long while and while it's not put back together, I am finally coasting well enough that I can go back and try and rekindle my relationships with them.
Turns out if you get to the point where you don't actually talk to your tulpas and instead just sort of puppet them for a year and some change, most don't want to spend a lot of time with you until you can demonstrate that you're going to actually listen again.
3:37 PM
Remedios and Mikasa are the only ones who are willing to stick around for the trial run, though. Which is very sweet of them.
I think my host and I have had a very strange bond where communication has become almost completely abandoned. There isn't even thought-communication, or intentional communication. It is like when you have a friend so close that you do not need to speak for them to know what to do in any situation, and vice versa.(edited)
6:06 PM
Forcing has been abandoned for years as well, as the primary form of personal development for me has moved to having life experiences. At this point, I think when the dust settles it is appropriate to say my host and I have reached the same level of competence, so we are equals in the mind and in our priority and use of the body to fulfill our goals.
Skye and I don't communicate too often, as we are aware of when the other wants to speak - however, we do communicate sometimes, when there is some kind of need. It could be argued that we do 'communicate' insofar as we let the other know when we wish to participate in a conversation.
6:51 PM
We do communicate partially for clear differentiation between each other.
"He would not be capable of acting and controlling his thoughts in an objective way independently of my own thought process. If he were, say, in the wonderland as I was focused elsewhere, he wouldn't be able to process thoughts to produce any objective work which requires a time-cost. Instead, he spends the majority of the time dormant as he is uninterested in observing things as I control them."
6:59 PM
would you describe that as "blacked out" to any extent?
They can, I guess, believe that they have wonderland adventures and recount the memories formed over that time, but the frustration of having no true processing power for objective reasoning and the like is too much for them.
7:03 PM
Some friends know me as jasper, others know me as jasmine. It's convenient especially in situations where I am in public with someone and I am male-presenting.
7:03 PM
I at least hope I would be male-presenting. I do make some attempt.
The most I would diverge is simply choosing clothes or articles based on how much I like them or their utility, in that case I may appear slightly more neutral and be sometimes confused perhaps as a man-presenting-tomboyish-female
I wouldn't believe a person can confuse me when I speak. I know my voice is high of pitch but I would hope the timbre is deep
7:11 PM
Even if I wore a cute hat and was wearing my hair to protect my skin from sun or chill, and they paid so little attention that they confused me at first, I think on first speaking they wouldn't be confused.
Regardless, I do not know if our method of switching is proper or anything. We recognize a sort of central line of consciousness, and whichever personality occupies this consciousness wholly is in full control of the body and the remaining personality can only be active insofar as they are given access to attention and processing.
7:13 PM
I rather like cute things myself, but I rarely am in a comfortable enough situation to wear it as I may be confused in societal situations.
Ah! I have my own clothes too. No makeup, but I have a hat to hide my hair under if I am intending to present more masculine.
7:17 PM
The brim helps me avoid wearing sunglasses, at least if I'm out for non-extended times, as my host hasn't developed good enough eyes for surviving through sunlit conditions without consequence.
I would like to add that I do not dress to appear feminine, only in clothes I do like. Often times it is dresses and thigh high socks with nice shoes, which happens to be feminine attire.
7:23 PM
T-shirts for men and women are different in the waist area.
I wonder if a dress has any advantage over pants myself. If it allows more freedom of movement and greater comfort, I wouldn't mind wearing one. However, I do think most dresses aren't designed with practical materials to be useful in outdoors hiking scenarios.
Oh, only for reasons of fashion? I see. I was curious if having the level of freedom in a lack of concern for the strength of seams which hold the legs together to the top of the pants is a real advantage.
It can help you also feel more comfortable in your body, which is important. No one wants to feel ugly and clothes that look nice and fit well can help.
I am only concerned with freedom of movement when it comes to wearing clothes for my sake. If I am to dress in a fashion for an event or for the benefit of others, I don't think going the feminine direction would be appropriate even if I look out of place wearing masculine fashion. I would hope I don't
7:34 PM
My host is concerned maybe more with strength of fabric, so our choice in clothing does have differences which is why we keep individual wardrobes.
